Sunday, May 17, 2015

My Thoughts About "Free The Nipple"

Intro photo: Kady and I together (with boobs drawn on my white blouse) / All rights reserved

I'm a mom in my 40s and I breastfed for a few years. Since I'm fairly sociable, I breastfed in public. I usually had a blanket draped over my shoulder the whole time.

But, there were a few times my baby inadvertently pulled or kicked the blanket or my shirt just enough to expose my breast. A few times, my nipple popped out too.

And I'm just going to say it: whenever such a mishap occurred, I'd look up and some guy would be staring directly at my boob.

As much as I'd like to think that men and women have similar reactions to each others' body parts, I don't think it's true. Perhaps it's not even possible.

I've seen men mesmerized by a woman's breast. It's almost as though they are hypnotized. Some cannot even continue with a normal conversation if a woman's nipple makes an appearance within the vicinity.

Yet, if I saw any part of a guy's junk exposed, I think I'd be somewhat shocked (not turned on). And I am attracted to men. A well-dressed man who looks me in the eye and actually listens to what I am saying is a turn on.

Can this reaction men have to our breasts (and nipples) be "fixed" somehow by showing them more?

Hmm, I'm not totally convinced.

Yet I admire these women who are trying to change the way women's bodies have been objectified.

The problem I have is this: I have a hard enough time getting men to respect me in this world or (when I wasn't a writer) pay me the same wage as my male counterparts. I feel that by intentionally exposing my breasts might have the opposite effect.

And I'm just going to say it: I feel like I would be helping some pervert "get his jollies" without the guy really understanding the deeper issue. I'm not so sure every person is capable of comprehending the message of equality these women are sending.

To the ladies who are freeing their nipples I say "good for you." Perhaps in time, your efforts will pay off.

But I guess I've been struggling for too long, hoping to be granted the same opportunities as men, proving that I am just as capable as a man, that I'm unable to fully participate in this cause. I totally respect and admire you, but I think I'll keep my shirt on.


  1. Hilarious! (I like the part about the guy zeroing in with laser-like vision).

    Despite how much I love sweater puppets I am NOT for all wimmen going topless since all wimmen don't have racks like Sofia Vergara or Salma Hayek.

    For the record I'm ALSO against seeing slobby, fat MEN shirtless in public with their C-cup man-boobs gently swaying in the breeze.

    Public and NON-DISCREET breastfeeding annoys me beyond reason. First, it presumes I wanna see some broad feeding her whelp while I'm sitting in the food court chowing down a slice at Sbarro's (the discreet kind you're talking about, with the blanky covering is okay, though). The reasons I get so agitated over it are because I think of funbags as something for MY enjoyment, not as a food source for proto-humans. Also, I like to think we've evolved beyond the need to nourish other humans from our bodies--it's unnecessary. Buy formula and use a bottle, it's more dignified. (Yeah, yeah, antibodies from the mother . . . blah .. .. blah ... bonding with baby . . . yadda . . . yadda . . . promotes closeness . . . blerble . . . blerble . . . ).

    I ESPECIALLY hate those dames I've seen out with a kid who's, like, SEVEN(!) years old or more and they whip out a lung-covering to feed Junior! I wanna smack her AND the kid!

    I suppose if I got to be the arbiter of deciding exactly WHICH wimmen got to sport their chesticles in public it would be fine for (some) wimmen to be topless all the time if they wanted (you'd qualify). But since I don't get to be the judge, I'm gonna go with "no" to freeing the nipple (or butt, or other body parts that may not be up to snuff by my standards of beauty; Salma and Sofia, of course, could go around completely naked all the time, and I'd consider it worthy of a Nobel Prize for bettering humanity).

    Fun stuff!

    1. HAAAAA! OMG, I laughed so much at your response Vic. And it took me entirely by surprise. I thought men would want all women to go topless.

      Nudity is something personal and (for some) more sexually arousing than others can appreciate. And there are some people I'd rather not ever see naked (and they tend to want to participate in these things).

      Thank you so much for dropping by and making my day with your entertaining and completely honest commentary.

      Warmly, Rose

    2. Nope, despite all signs indicating otherwise I would NOT like to see all wimmen topless (Rose O'Donnell, Roseanne, either of my two dead grandmothers, etc.). A line has to drawn in the sand (that only Sofia Vergara and Salma Hayek are allowed to cross).